What’s the best childcare out there? 

The best is what will work best for you and your family. The best is personal. Families are different.
And the best now may not be the best in 6 months or a year; some willingness to adapt your plan as you go is advised, even for the most dedicated Type A planners. Kids grow! Circumstances change! Personalities and needs are different! If you have multiple children, you might need different options at any given time, based on their age, development, needs, or just what’s available in your area.

So how do you figure out what is best for your family and how to make that happen?

First: Know your Goal.

There are many reasons parents arrange childcare support beyond themselves; from coverage for full time work outside the home, to having a regular block of time for appointments, taking care of other family members, self care, date nights with friends or loved ones. Whatever your reasons, I’m glad that you are doing it! Parenting in isolation is …well, isolating. So, what are your goals? What needs are you looking to fill?

Second: Draft your Ideal Scenario.

Some questions to think about:

• What experience do you want for your child (or think they need)? For example, are you looking for focused, one-on-one attention? Limited exposure to germs? More social interaction with other kids? Access to different toys and experiences than you have at home? 
• What level of involvement do you want to have? Do you want to define/be in charge of the protocols? Or be in a situation where someone else has worked out the details and you can review them
• What family life experience is important for you? What does your commute look like (2 minutes to your desk in the house or a 45 drive)? Are you able to leave work by a certain time in the afternoon? If you have older kids, what does their care look like? Are you trying to match up schedules across multiple people in the family?
• How much schedule flexibility or consistency do you have (in general, on different days of the week)? 
  • Do you have any flex “levers” you could call on - either consistently or occasionally? For example: Grandma is available and wants to help on Friday. Dad can spread out FMLA time and take a day/week for a few months. Mom can switch shifts to certain times or days with enough advance notice. 

• Do you need to have flexibility in your childcare because your job or other aspect in your life is less predictable? For example: One or both parents travel regularly or occasionally for work, or need to be able to work earlier/later sometimes. 
• How much time do you need and when? Are you looking for full time Monday-Friday or a couple days per week? Do you need a certain number of hours spread out over all 7 days? Are you looking for an afternoon and evening of help each week?

• What are you able to or willing to pay? Childcare is expensive. Infant care is even more expensive. Note: if you have an option to participate in a Dependent Care Savings Account, it’s a good time to do so.  

Interested in what we’ve done? Different things at different times: 

Third: Understand considerations for common childcare options, in two main categories:

1. Options where You are in the Lead: Neighbor/Family, Nannies, Au Pairs. 
2. Options where Protocols are Set: Childcare Center, Childcare Home.  

Options where You are in the Lead: Neighbor/Family, Nanny, Au Pair

For these options, you need to be ready to be an employer. Some guidance:  

• Expectations: Think about them, Write them down, Talk about them Collaboratively with your caregiver. Even if you are the most easy-going, you probably have some rules, guidelines, values for your kids and how they should be watched; these are unlikely to be exactly how someone else will manage your kids if left to their own devices. Explaining what and how you want someone to do their work can be uncomfortable. 
• Be ready to share and accept feedback. Creating a comfortable, open channel of communication with your caregiver is a critical component of a trusting environment where your caregiver feels safe to ask questions and raise concerns. Challenging scenarios will arise, and you won’t be able to plan for all of them in advance. Finding a way to discuss and create solutions that work for everyone will lead to a much better experience for you, your kids, and your caregiver.
• Check that your caregiver's skills and preferences align with the abilities and personalities of your kids at this phase of life. For example, if the person expresses that they love being active with kids (sledding, playgrounds), that might not be the best match for an infant, but great if you have multiple kids ranging in age. 

• Neighbor/Friend/Family member - The opportunity to have a trusted person in your life watch your child can offer peace of mind and flexibility (of schedule and cost). We recommend talking through expectations - yours and theirs - related to the schedule, how and what you’ll communicate about, pay, planned or banned activities during care, etc., to avoid issues; and ideally summarize them in writing. 
• Nanny/Nanny Share in your home - Having a nanny in your home or sharing a nanny with another family can offer a focused, comfortable experience for your kid(s) and ease the amount of activity you need to do before and after work. Having a nanny come to our home to care for our baby meant we didn’t need to wake her up at a specific time to get her to daycare before our workday began. You should allot several weeks of lead time to find someone you are comfortable with. You’ll also want to consider your interview approach, any prerequisites or special skills, if you’ll do a background check, and what a contract/written agreement will include.  All of that can get overwhelming fast…I’m feeling anxious just writing this summarized version…but luckily, you don’t need to do it alone. Some services out there that can help:
• Sittercity  and Care.com offer help finding nannies/recurring babysitters, one-time babysitters or daycare. Homepay through Care.com takes care of tracking hours, sending payment & taxes.
• Call Emmy allows you to browse for care providers in your area, who are looking for full or part time work. In addition to childcare, you can also look for house cleaning, laundry/chores, and home organization services. 
• Otter matches parents who need childcare with stay at home parents who can care for their kids.  
• Some areas have local, concierge nanny agencies who will work with your family on a personal level. 
• Less formal options could include an inquiry through a local Facebook parent group, NextDoor, or a post on a local college’s Job Board (you’ll need to be prepared to do more of the vetting yourself in these cases). We found the family that we nanny-shared with through NextDoor; we met to make sure that we liked each other well enough, made a basic list of what we wanted from a nanny, and then posted on Care.com to actually find the nanny. Note: if you do a “Share,” you need to really jive with the other family, as well as the Nanny. If it doesn’t feel right, retreat!
• Au Pair - Hosting an au pair in your home offers a lot of scheduling flexibility; there is a limit of hours, but you work through how those hours are distributed with the au pair. Depending on your area, number of kids and home set up, the cost may be equivalent or less expensive than childcare centers or a local nanny. There are a couple key unique components to consider if this is a good fit for your family:
  • For this to be a wonderful experience, you should be comfortable and excited about welcoming this person into your home and your family. They’ll be eating your food, using your bathroom, needing their own space and privacy (and potentially affecting your sense of privacy). 
  • Hosting an au pair is a cultural exchange experience. Expect that your au pair will experience some culture shock; consider how you will support them if they are homesick, lonely, or experiencing more freedom and fun outside their parent’s house? And Communication is Key. Many au pairs speak a primary language other than English, which can be an opportunity to expose your kids to a different language (either broadening their development or deepening knowledge of a language other family members speak). During the interview process, consider your ability to communicate well with the au pair, and their ability to communicate well with you - clarity is important both in language and cultural alignment. 
  • You’ll want to have at least 4-6 months to find someone you really like and connect with, and to get that person to the US; some countries and specific circumstances require more time before they can move into your home. A couple au pair services include Cultural Care and AuPair Care.  

Options where Protocols are set: Childcare Center, Childcare Home.

If the idea of being a childcare employer is not appealing to you, a childcare center or childcare home might feel like an easier option (no interviewing, creating your own contracts, figuring out what you should do about taxes). They also provide built in social interaction opportunities and access to different toys/materials than you have in your home. And, there is a built in community of other parents who bring their kids to this physical location. As you’re considering these options, I recommend assessing: 

• Location (and associated commute time) relative to your home or work 
• The age range the center serves and their associated waitlist; some centers don’t have infant rooms, and sometimes those that do have significant waitlists.

• The Environment (physical space + the vibe): Set up a visit (COVID protocols may still be in place, but there should be some option available), review the protocols, and talk to the leadership or teacher. Does the space feel good to you - clean, comfortable, welcoming? Do you agree with most of the guidelines/rules and can you live with them all? For infants, do you understand the nap routine/space, how bottles are given? To what extent are they willing to collaborate with you on sleep & feeding techniques and schedules (and does that work for you)? 

If you’re feeling good, get your pen and checkbook out. (Yes, I actually still write a paper check to our daycare. My daughter loves putting it in the special slot box). You don’t have to write the contract, but there will likely be a big packet of guidelines to sign off on, and forms to fill out. 

• Childcare Center (aka Daycare) - You might feel safer or better supported bringing your child to a government-licensed location with protocols in place for a wide variety of scenarios (and in some cases, access to specialized support or services). When your kid is sick, they have to be home; but usually staff in childcare centers find coverage if the teacher is out (or decides to take a different position). Not sure where to start looking? Childcare.gov provides a search option. 

• Childcare Home - Sharing many factors with larger childcare centers, an in-home option may offer more flexibility (in schedule and related cost structure). In-home providers may or may not be required to be licensed depending on the rules in your state; you’ll want to consider how important that is (or is not) to you. If you are looking for options in your area, Wonderschool is a service seeking to increase access to high-quality in-home early childhood care for families.

Want a lot more detail? Childcare.gov is a good resource for different options.  

Completely overwhelmed and just want someone to make the process easier? Nanniest is a concierge childcare advisory service that helps working parents explore the right childcare option for their family - whether that’s a daycare, nanny, or other option.

Finally, Let’s Review:

You know what your childcare goals are.

You’ve drafted your ideal scenario. 

You’ve penciled in your thoughts on how to get close to your ideal with the childcare options discussed above.

Next: Before you start putting up job postings, filling out daycare applications and putting down deposits, can you talk to someone who is “in it” already for your top options? Most parents are very happy to share what’s working and not working for them; and then you can decide how big of a deal those things would be for you. 

Last: Take a deep breath, step back and Look at Your Full Picture. A perfect fit for your ideal scenario is a high expectation - but does your starting point feel Pretty Good for your family as you are right now? 

Things will change as you go and as your kids grow. I hope you’re feeling confident that the childcare path you're on is the best for your family & life.